Daddy Issues, Mommy Issues, Generational tissues?
Searching for love and affection via your internet connection.
In my perspective I think society has glossed over childhood, simply because we are told at a young age to “move on” or not to “dwell on the past”. I feel that the past is prevalent to how we interface with individuals in the present. Our inner child cries for the attention we once all paid attention to. Sigmund Freud had a theory that from the birth of a child to the age of six years old which basically shapes what an individual will be based on events from the past. Sometimes us as individuals have had a moment where our worlds were shattered, and the innocence we once knew, we knew no more. There’s a defining moment in one’s life that changes you it may be for the good and it may be for the worse, it may be in between, who knows? But i know for certain mental health is a major problem, especially in the black community. As a young girl from Baltimore county, Maryland I was raised in a middle class home. I had a dad financially, emotionally not so much. My father took care of us the best way he could, taught us the best way he could and I could never denote him of being that amazing father figure. But emotionally, my father wasn’t that person i came to for advice. When I had my first heart-break, I didn’t come to my dad, I went to my mom. The daddy issues came into play, that same day. I’ve been in toxic relationships ever since because of the emotional aspect I was looking for in my dad.
Furthermore, I have mommy issues as well, yes I’m just dysfunctional, LOL. But the mommy issues stem from the fact that I have always LONGED to be seen by my mother. I am a middle child, and the attention seems to be either focused on the first, who clearly has done everything first. The first to rebel, the first to get in a fight, the first to steal etc, just to give a basis. Or focused on the last child, the baby where the baby can do no wrong, and its all about what baby wants or needs because the baby is small and needs more care. That sometimes leaves the middle child in a rut, looking for approval or acceptance. I wanted my mother to be proud of me, I wanted the gentle touch and hug that my mother rarely gave us. I wanted to watch girly movies with my mom, and talk about men so I could get an insight. Yet here I am talking about my issues because it’s a form of therapy and hopefully can help someone else.
Although “mommy issues” doesn’t seem to be so popular, they are, yet again glossed over. On the other hand my generation today sees “daddy issues” as a problem, or even a phrase that is negative. Yet all in all it’s very real and can honestly be broken down depending on the situation and young woman. I see a lot of young women online, via instagram and or facebook who clearly have daddy issues written all over their posts. I wish that black women would embrace how they’ve been hurt, seek help for it, get to the root of it, do the work, and move past it. Women, young and old I’ve seen still die for that attention they haven’t received from their father. Every child seeks approval from their parent, they want to hear “good job” “you’re beautiful”, just anything. That in return develops bad behaviors for example, getting attention wherever they can get it from, be it social media or men. Social media has become the BIGGEST platform for daddy issue type of girls. The half naked photos with their assets out, the revealing pictures with their boobies and the captions with the latest migos lyric. Its all intentional, the likes boost confidence. The “YASSSSS BITCH” actually adds to their day, but deep down its temporary and we have to log out and deal with ourselves.
